I just love that so many of my friends are posting photos of their fathers on Facebook! I've enjoyed seeing many pictures of men who were dear to me as beloved friends' dads! I wish I had a photo of my own dad, but he passed away almost 15 years ago. Dad and I had a weird relationship, not exactly what I wanted, but he most certainly loved me in the ways he thought were important. I've thankfully had several other father figures throughout the years and each of them gave me love in their own way.
Bobby Graves was my father. He was born in 1920, and was almost 50 when I came along. Now that I'm almost 50 with a preschooler I completely understand why he wasn't always warm and fuzzy with me! He was exhausted by then, having already raised two boys and daughter. My sister was his princess who came along 10 years after the boys, and when I came 10 years after that he must have been tired! Even though he wasn't exactly an overly involved dad, he did have extremely high expectations. I'm forever grateful that, even though he never graduated from high school, he INSISTED that I finish college. He bought this small town girl a blue Chevy truck when I was 16 and then made sure I could drive anywhere! He never missed a basketball game or a football game if I was cheering. He never made much money, in fact I remember that he made $13,000 the year he retired from the US Forrest Service when I was in high school, but somehow I had more than I needed and was allowed to travel more than most kids in my small town. Most importantly, he made sure I NEVER EVER missed church, and I used manners. The best memory with him was when he took Mom and me to Germany when I was in college to visit where he had walked and fought in WWII. I'll never forget watching that hard man sob at the site of the Remagen Bridge, where he fought bravely and lost so many friends. I was changed by that experience and learned so much about him during that visit. He died when Justin was only 6 months old, and I wish my children could have known him.
My brother Ronny Graves was the father figure for me for much of my teenage and early twenty years. He is 20 years older than me and has two daughters, Kristal and Karmen, who were so much more than nieces! His girls were like sisters to me so he treated my more like a daughter than a little sister! Though Ronny was always stationed far from home in the Army, we visited him and his family every summer. He and my sister in law, Nancy, always treated my like their very own! They took me to see my first movie. They were cool parents!! Going to the pool with them on base at Ft. Hood was like visiting the Hawaiian Islands to me! Ronny is a teacher, and I can't tell you how much I still learn from him! He's patiently taught me everything from German, cake decorating, horsemanship, and scripture. He's the father figure that hugged me and told me he was proud of me as a teenager. He even rented a sports car for us to drive one time in college, and I've never forgotten it! I always wanted to marry a smart man because Ronny was smart and could converse about any topic! It's been fun to watch Ronny and my husband, who is also smart, talk about everything from religion to politics to family. I love my brother Ronny so much!
Larry Graves is my OLDEST brother. I love to say that to him! He's actually the closest thing to a father I have today. Though Larry and I hardly spent time together as I was growing up, we're making up for lost time now. Larry and I talk almost every Sunday night. What means the most to me is that he really keeps up with what's going on with my children and my everyday life. Honestly, Larry is exactly what I need in a father figure these days: he knows what I'm involved in and he keeps up with what I'm accomplishing. He says words like, "I'm so proud of you" and "You're doing a great job." He and my sister in law, Milly, drove all the way from Houston to Kansas City to visit us, and that means the world to me! He gives me great advice when I need it, but he realizes I'm an adult! I honestly wish that we lived closer to each other because not only do I think he's the best, but my children really love him. He's the closest thing they will ever have to a grandfather on my side of the family, and I love it when my children get to spend time with him! I love my OLDEST brother Larry so much too!
JV McKinney is my father in law. I knew I was in for it when we first met because he interrogated me about all sorts of things. I assumed the interrogation came from his desire to not waste his son's time with a dingbat, but after 25 years I've decided that he just enjoys conversations about issues, And though we don't often agree on the big issues to him, I'd just bet that he at least appreciates that I have opinions. JV is the absolute best photographer I've ever known. Any great photo I have of my children was taken by him. He's also generous beyond imagination. He never charges anyone to take photos because it's just his passion. And speaking of passion, the man is 100% passionate about whatever he's doing. I like that...and I'd like to say that I've developed some of my passion about life watching JV. Since he and Blake are SO MUCH alike, I guess I'm most thankful to JV for creating the atmosphere in which my amazing husband matured. The single best thing about me is my husband, and JV did much of the work raising Blake! I love JV!
Of course my favorite dad in the world is my husband. Blake is the absolute dream of what I always thought a dad should be! He's patient, kind, affectionate, and gentle. He has extremely high expectations and is a wonderful motivator for the kids. He's warm and fuzzy, smart and passionate, full of wisdom, and more humble than anyone I've ever met! He accurately portrays our Heavenly Father to our children, to me, to our church, and to anyone he meets. Now that we have Sarah, I see so much of his relationship with her as exactly what I wanted and needed as a little girl! I realize that my own father lived in a different generation and he just didn't have anything else to give...but I'm so thankful that I get to relive that dream by watching Sarah and Blake!
Happy Father's Day to these dads in my life!
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
What's old is new again...
So I was up particularly early this summer morning to watch LifeWay author Jen Hatmaker on the Today Show. Now honestly, it wasn't really early, but it's summer. And I'm home alone. And I didn't go to bed til 1:30am because (did I mention?) I'm home alone this week. Just in case you don't know me, I need you to understand that it's a big deal that I'm home alone! I haven't had an extended "home alone" time in 15 years so my plan was to sleep late, stay up late, work at the store during the evenings, and write. Up at 7:45am was not on the to do list, but anything for LifeWay I guess. Oh wait, I'm home alone so I'll just take a nap this afternoon! Sweet bliss!
Jen did a great job, of course. Her funny but sarcasticly insightful blog post about being the worst end of the school year mom ever hits the nail on the head in so many ways. Read it here: http://bit.ly/JenHatmaker, but promise me you'll come back and finish this post!!
As I snuggled onto the couch with my coffee in anticipation of Jen's segment I turned on the show only to see about a bazillion teenage girls "on the Plaza" there in NYC screaming bloody murder over some young pop star. I consider myself fairly "with it" when it comes to pop teenage culture, though the use of the term "with it" probably means I'm not actually. Believe it or not, I had never heard of the young man Austin Mahone. Cut me some slack here though because my daughter is only four years old and she thinks Phineas and Ferb are cutting edge. So, like any "with it" adult, I googled the cutie pie! I even went to Itunes and sampled a song. I'm cool like that.
Turns out, cutie pie Austin Malone remade that old Biz Markie song, "Just a Friend". See I told you I was "with it". You remember it if you are a child of 80's, otherwise known as best decade ever! I'm singing it right now out loud in my kitchen because, did I mention, I'm home alone!!!
"Oh baby you, you got what I need! But you say he's just a friend, you say he's just a friend.
I'm not saying you should necessarily download it but it's a catch little ditty, huh? In fact, I can't wait to show it to my teenage sons. I'm sure they'll immediately love it and download it because I'm the role model for them when it comes to music. I'm pretty sure our Ipods have identical music, right? Surely they have all of the Travis Cottrell albums.
Then it hit me, I was one of those screaming girls about 30 years ago. My mom took me to the Hot Springs Mall to see Bo from Days of our Lives at the apex of "Bo and Hope" Days! We waited in long lines, took a bazillion photos with our Polaroid, and made the exact kind of posters those sweet little girls made for Austin! Oh, and there was a lot of screaming and crying and promising to never wash that hand Bo touched again!
My mom tried to act like she didn't enjoy it, but I think she did.
And honestly, I think I've been a part of a group or two like this at a LifeWay Women's event. Haven't you stood in a long line to get great seats at Living Proof Live, just hoping Beth Moore will get close enough to bless your heart or at least figure out where she bought that cute jacket? My BFF and I have a system when we go. She gets in one line and I get in another. Our strategy is whoever gets in first RUNS down to the floor and saves two seats. It's not pretty (or very Christlike) but it works. And if I've rudely elbowed you at some point in one of those lines, I'm sorry, but a girls gotta do what she's gotta do to see Beth's jacket up close.
And then I remembered Psalm 78, an unforgettable Psalm about learning from the past.
"...for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past...so each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting His glorious miracles and obeying His commands."
Psalm 78:2, 7 (NLT)
So much about life doesn't change at the core. There will probably always be teenage girls screaming over cutie pie boy heart throbs. So much about me doesn't change. I will probably always have to ask God to give me right motives and completely pure desires even at a women's conference.
But HE never changes. We will always be enamored with the world, it's trends, it's promises, it's fleeting fun. We can even engage culture to teach our children about the faithful love of our Father in Heaven.
James 1:17 says it so well...
Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. HE NEVER CHANGES, or casts a shifting shadow.
Thanks Jen, for getting me up this morning to experience some encouragement in my ministry as a mom and some fun music! I'm cool like that! Now I'm taking a nap.
Jen did a great job, of course. Her funny but sarcasticly insightful blog post about being the worst end of the school year mom ever hits the nail on the head in so many ways. Read it here: http://bit.ly/JenHatmaker, but promise me you'll come back and finish this post!!
As I snuggled onto the couch with my coffee in anticipation of Jen's segment I turned on the show only to see about a bazillion teenage girls "on the Plaza" there in NYC screaming bloody murder over some young pop star. I consider myself fairly "with it" when it comes to pop teenage culture, though the use of the term "with it" probably means I'm not actually. Believe it or not, I had never heard of the young man Austin Mahone. Cut me some slack here though because my daughter is only four years old and she thinks Phineas and Ferb are cutting edge. So, like any "with it" adult, I googled the cutie pie! I even went to Itunes and sampled a song. I'm cool like that.
Turns out, cutie pie Austin Malone remade that old Biz Markie song, "Just a Friend". See I told you I was "with it". You remember it if you are a child of 80's, otherwise known as best decade ever! I'm singing it right now out loud in my kitchen because, did I mention, I'm home alone!!!
"Oh baby you, you got what I need! But you say he's just a friend, you say he's just a friend.
I'm not saying you should necessarily download it but it's a catch little ditty, huh? In fact, I can't wait to show it to my teenage sons. I'm sure they'll immediately love it and download it because I'm the role model for them when it comes to music. I'm pretty sure our Ipods have identical music, right? Surely they have all of the Travis Cottrell albums.
Then it hit me, I was one of those screaming girls about 30 years ago. My mom took me to the Hot Springs Mall to see Bo from Days of our Lives at the apex of "Bo and Hope" Days! We waited in long lines, took a bazillion photos with our Polaroid, and made the exact kind of posters those sweet little girls made for Austin! Oh, and there was a lot of screaming and crying and promising to never wash that hand Bo touched again!
My mom tried to act like she didn't enjoy it, but I think she did.
And honestly, I think I've been a part of a group or two like this at a LifeWay Women's event. Haven't you stood in a long line to get great seats at Living Proof Live, just hoping Beth Moore will get close enough to bless your heart or at least figure out where she bought that cute jacket? My BFF and I have a system when we go. She gets in one line and I get in another. Our strategy is whoever gets in first RUNS down to the floor and saves two seats. It's not pretty (or very Christlike) but it works. And if I've rudely elbowed you at some point in one of those lines, I'm sorry, but a girls gotta do what she's gotta do to see Beth's jacket up close.
And then I remembered Psalm 78, an unforgettable Psalm about learning from the past.
"...for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past...so each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting His glorious miracles and obeying His commands."
Psalm 78:2, 7 (NLT)
So much about life doesn't change at the core. There will probably always be teenage girls screaming over cutie pie boy heart throbs. So much about me doesn't change. I will probably always have to ask God to give me right motives and completely pure desires even at a women's conference.
But HE never changes. We will always be enamored with the world, it's trends, it's promises, it's fleeting fun. We can even engage culture to teach our children about the faithful love of our Father in Heaven.
James 1:17 says it so well...
Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. HE NEVER CHANGES, or casts a shifting shadow.
Thanks Jen, for getting me up this morning to experience some encouragement in my ministry as a mom and some fun music! I'm cool like that! Now I'm taking a nap.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Here's my permission for you to skip church tomorrow!
Mother's Day is a complicated holiday! While I'm forever thankful to God for my own mother and I'm overwhelmed to have the opportunity to be a mother, I will never ever EVER forget what Mother's Day used to feel like!
I am an infertility survivor. I distinctly remember Mother's Days when, as the pastor's wife, I had to attend church and pretend that it wasn't hard. I suffered through about 5 years of infertility treatments, 1 miscarriage, several seasons of waiting to adopt, and 1 failed adoption. Mother's Day used to be the worst day of the year for me!
It's no one's fault. No one wanted to make me feel like a failure. No one intended to rub it in that I was barren. I never expected the entire world to forego Mother's Day just because I was miserable, but it was just flat out excruciating every year. Please don't hear me say that God was unfaithful to me! He was sweet and patient and gracious and tender toward me all the time, but I was mad and hurt and depressed and hormonal. I cried and screamed and lashed out at almost every friend or relative who had the misfortune of being around me. It was not pretty.
So why am I writing this?
Here's the deal. As a pastor's wife, women's minister, and infertility survivor I want to say that it's okay if you skip church tomorrow. There, I said it. Skip away, sleep in, go to the lake, stay home and watch a movie, do whatever you need to in order to maintain your sanity.
BUT, press into Jesus while you are skipping. Cry to Him! Scream at Him! Ask Him hard questions! He loves you so much. He really does cry with you. He really does want to be your everything. He has not forgotten you, and He knows the plan.
I call myself an infertility survivor, but please know that no matter the outcome you can be an infertility survivor. You don't survive this horrific circumstance by adopting or finally getting pregnant. You survive by clinging to Jesus Christ with whatever strength you can muster. It becomes a part of your story no matter what happens. He won't let go of you!
And on behalf of every church in the United States, let me apologize that tomorrow we will highlight something that is so hard for you. We don't mean to hurt you. My prayer will be that you can sense God's unimaginable comfort and peace in the midst of what may be a difficult day. His mercies are new every morning, and tomorrow morning I will be remembering you too.
I am an infertility survivor. I distinctly remember Mother's Days when, as the pastor's wife, I had to attend church and pretend that it wasn't hard. I suffered through about 5 years of infertility treatments, 1 miscarriage, several seasons of waiting to adopt, and 1 failed adoption. Mother's Day used to be the worst day of the year for me!
It's no one's fault. No one wanted to make me feel like a failure. No one intended to rub it in that I was barren. I never expected the entire world to forego Mother's Day just because I was miserable, but it was just flat out excruciating every year. Please don't hear me say that God was unfaithful to me! He was sweet and patient and gracious and tender toward me all the time, but I was mad and hurt and depressed and hormonal. I cried and screamed and lashed out at almost every friend or relative who had the misfortune of being around me. It was not pretty.
So why am I writing this?
Here's the deal. As a pastor's wife, women's minister, and infertility survivor I want to say that it's okay if you skip church tomorrow. There, I said it. Skip away, sleep in, go to the lake, stay home and watch a movie, do whatever you need to in order to maintain your sanity.
BUT, press into Jesus while you are skipping. Cry to Him! Scream at Him! Ask Him hard questions! He loves you so much. He really does cry with you. He really does want to be your everything. He has not forgotten you, and He knows the plan.
I call myself an infertility survivor, but please know that no matter the outcome you can be an infertility survivor. You don't survive this horrific circumstance by adopting or finally getting pregnant. You survive by clinging to Jesus Christ with whatever strength you can muster. It becomes a part of your story no matter what happens. He won't let go of you!
And on behalf of every church in the United States, let me apologize that tomorrow we will highlight something that is so hard for you. We don't mean to hurt you. My prayer will be that you can sense God's unimaginable comfort and peace in the midst of what may be a difficult day. His mercies are new every morning, and tomorrow morning I will be remembering you too.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
What my kindergartener taught me today!
Five years ago today I was indoor skydiving with my oldest son on a field trip! I had no idea at that time that I was 6 1/2 months pregnant! On Mother's Day 2008 I discovered that Sarah Grace McKinney was coming into this world, and life hasn't been the same since! Today she went to preschool for the last time. What a whirlwind these five years have been!
As was the case every school day, I reminded her that the first thing we needed to do in the van was pray for her teachers. I even said through tears, "Sarah, today is the last day we will get to pray for Mrs. Lisa and your Sonshine Preschool friends."
She was mortified! "Why can't we pray for them even when I go to kindergarten?" she wanted to know.
What a lesson for me, straight from God Himself! So often I pray for a specific request or person for a finite time, but when the winds change or I become frustrated with the amount of time it's taking to see an answer I give up. Sometimes I even pray until I see an answer but then forget to say thank you to Him.
Simply put, 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "...pray continually." That's what Sarah reminded me to do today. There are no expiration dates on prayers, thankfully.
You see, Sarah reminded us of that even five years ago. We'd prayed for a baby so many years before she came, but honestly we had stopped praying long before she was a reality to us. Truthfully we'd stopped because we were content and felt that God had already answered our prayers with the wonderful sons He'd given us through adoption. But just as we are told to pray continually, I've become convinced that God is answering continually. His idea of time is so far above our human ideas that I believe He's answered long before we've even prayed usually. It kind of hurts my finite brain to contemplate how He works, but I'm a fan of it even when I can't totally understand it.
Pray continually. Don't stop seeking His answers. Don't stop seeking Him.
Incidentally, right after Sarah Grace prayed for her preschool teachers and friends, she added, "And thank you for my kindergarten teacher, God! Please help her to be ready for me!"
Amen to that! Only God could prepare that teacher we have yet to know for this child!
As was the case every school day, I reminded her that the first thing we needed to do in the van was pray for her teachers. I even said through tears, "Sarah, today is the last day we will get to pray for Mrs. Lisa and your Sonshine Preschool friends."
She was mortified! "Why can't we pray for them even when I go to kindergarten?" she wanted to know.
What a lesson for me, straight from God Himself! So often I pray for a specific request or person for a finite time, but when the winds change or I become frustrated with the amount of time it's taking to see an answer I give up. Sometimes I even pray until I see an answer but then forget to say thank you to Him.
Simply put, 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "...pray continually." That's what Sarah reminded me to do today. There are no expiration dates on prayers, thankfully.
You see, Sarah reminded us of that even five years ago. We'd prayed for a baby so many years before she came, but honestly we had stopped praying long before she was a reality to us. Truthfully we'd stopped because we were content and felt that God had already answered our prayers with the wonderful sons He'd given us through adoption. But just as we are told to pray continually, I've become convinced that God is answering continually. His idea of time is so far above our human ideas that I believe He's answered long before we've even prayed usually. It kind of hurts my finite brain to contemplate how He works, but I'm a fan of it even when I can't totally understand it.
Pray continually. Don't stop seeking His answers. Don't stop seeking Him.
Incidentally, right after Sarah Grace prayed for her preschool teachers and friends, she added, "And thank you for my kindergarten teacher, God! Please help her to be ready for me!"
Amen to that! Only God could prepare that teacher we have yet to know for this child!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Meet my friend Alyssa!
This is one of my favorite Easter photos this year! Some of you will say, "I didn't know Gayla had a teenage daughter!" This is not my daughter, but my sweet and crazy friend Alyssa! I hope my own daughter will be as fun loving, athletic, and personable as Alyssa! Not only is this a great photo of both of us (it's rare to see both of us in dresses!), but this photo is also special to me because Alyssa and I had some shared experiences leading up to Easter that made it an even more exciting day!
Alyssa is part of the group of teenage girls who just finished studying the gospel of Mark. In fact, we literally read Mark 15 together on the Saturday night before Easter and read the resurrection account in Mark 16 on Easter! Alyssa, however, had already finished the book a few weeks before because she just couldn't put it down!
Before I tell you what she said about it, let me tell you about her. Alyssa is the finest soccer player you'll ever meet! She's an athlete through and through, and she works hard! She's popular at Lee's Summit High School as a freshman. She sings in women's choir at school and rarely misses youth choir at church! In fact, she'd only miss youth choir and Girl Talk Bible study if she had a soccer tournament. I adore her because she will text me both funny stuff and deeply profound stuff. I also adore her because she's plugged in enough to know what's going on with Justin at Lee's Summit West and is my informant if I need one. (I'm pretty sure Justin never reads my blogs so we're safe!) Bottom line: Alyssa is the cool girl I wish I'd been at her age...who am I kidding, I still wish I was as cool as her!
A few weeks ago Alyssa texted me the following:
"Mark 15 I thought was pretty intense, how it just explained what they did to Jesus before the crucifixion so that made me pretty upset because I never really read what they did to him. And then Mark 16 was actually happy! I'm glad I didn't stop after Mark 15 because I'd feel like I would just be depressed knowing that Jesus went through all that torture for me, but then He rose from the dead and went up to the heavens to be with God. I've never really thought deeply about what they really did to him and once I did, it made me so upset! It was crazy! I spent all night when I read it just thinking about it and thanking Him for what he did. I feel like I could never tell Him how thankful I am just because I'm like overjoyed and thankful! The other girls...they need to make sure and read Mark 16 this week!"
When I asked her to share her thoughts on the Saturday night before Easter with the other girls she said, "I'd just heard the story, but I'd never read it for myself! It means so much more! I think I really got it this time. It's been different this year."
That very week I'd been studying Job . I read in Job 42:5 what Job said after his unspeakable losses and the subsequent faithfulness of God, "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you..." That's essentially what Alyssa was saying without having to lose everything like Job. She'd opened up the Bible and read it for herself, and Jesus would never be the same after that! Can you even imagine what God's going to do with Alyssa! I can't wait to watch her continue to grow! How overly sweet of God to increase my faith and excitement through getting to experience Easter through her eyes!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
My girls!!!
The ministry that lights my fire more than any other is the time I get to spend with some teenage girls at my church on Sunday nights. Actually, girls' ministry in general just about makes me break into a praise dance...which wouldn't really be pretty but it would be funny. I was a mess as a teenage girl! Who am I kidding, I'm still a mess! I pretended to be interested in Jesus and church, but basically I was all about being popular and having fun. (By the way, if you are reading this, Justin McKinney, I know you'll find it ironic that the thing I hound you the most about is exactly what I struggled with when I was your age. You are so blessed to have a parent that understands, huh?) I wanted just enough of Jesus for most people to THINK I was a good girl. I never really read my bible seriously. That's why I'm amazed so often when I see the girls I get to hang out with not just reading it, but trying to understand the significance and relevance of it! I'm 43 years old and I'm just now beginning to see the Holy Scripture in a new light every day, so I don't expect the girls to be perfect, but I wish I'd been more like them when I was their age. Honestly, sometimes I wish I was more like them now.
Last summer I read a great blog on the LifeWay Girls page written by my friend and boss, Mickey McCloud. Mickey, who is young and single and gorgeous and just barely older than a teenager herself, wrote about her own experience leading in girls' ministry. She told of times when she would be with a group of girls who were talking about all sorts of literary or film characters but rarely knew much about Jesus. Reading her blog on that day marked me! I began to actually think that maybe we've underestimated our girls. Maybe they really would want to know Jesus for real? We have been recognizing, for a few years now, a heightened thirst among women for bible study and true discipleship. Surely there is some trickle down effect with our girls? If not, then is our revival among women real and relevant itself? Shouldn't our daughters notice the inevitable difference bible study and discipleship makes in our lives and want that?
So a group of women at my church helped me start a bible study for teenage girls. We call it Girl Talk. We try to meet for about an hour and a half every Sunday night after they've just come from other youth activities. Of course we have schedule conflicts because these girls are INVOLVED! And our church is INVOLVED! Let's face it, we are all too busy. The most interesting thing about this is that I think the girls miss it when we can't meet! I know we older women miss it! And did I mention that these girls don't HAVE to come?! Not every girl in our youth ministry comes, and I love them all, but these girls have continued to come consistently for the entire school year...they come voluntarily! It blows me away! When I was their age, I voluntarily did very little!
This is what has been working for us. We chose the Gospel of Mark this year. We read one chapter a week and we ask the same 5 questions each week, writing them in a simple notebook. We always ask:
1. Who are the characters in this chapter?
2. What did Jesus say in this chapter?
3. What did Jesus do in this chapter?
4. What questions do you have about the passage?
5. Did God speak to you personally about something as you read?
The most fun and hilarious discussions have come out of this time! Just last week we pondered and laughed about the significance of a naked guy in Mark 14! We've struggled with that withered fig tree, and we've asked whether the friends lowered the paralyzed guy through the roof vertically or horizontally! Honestly, nothings off limits! The teenage girls and us older girls ask all sorts of questions! My favorite questions often don't necessarily have answers, but they provoke more questions. When we are asking questions, even seemingly silly ones, we are actually thinking about the stories rather than just glancing over them. Sometimes they will even text me in the middle of the week with observations! Seriously, I'm a sucker for a text about scripture from one of them!!
We've also tried to share our own personal stories. Each adult shared her testimony and we've had some of the girls share as well. Each week we've tried to focus on one person and ask her questions about her life and walk with Christ. Sometimes this has worked but honestly sometimes we were so anxious to get into our study that we went straight to Jesus.
Through this unbelievable experience, one I hope will continue, I've come to love the book of Mark and most of all Jesus! I've learned that I can study the Word on my own without having to have a written study by someone else. (Now don't think I'm going to quit Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, Kelly Minter, Lisa Harper, Margaret Feinberg, etc....but sometimes a girl's got to read it for herself!)
I've also recently come to love a Psalm that speaks to what we are doing. Psalm 78:1-8 has come alive to me! I particularly love this part...
"...we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done...so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. They would not be like their ancestors - a stubborn and rebellious generation whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to him."
Our girls are being told all sorts of stuff from all sorts of people. Shouldn't we be telling them about the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD? Shouldn't we be lovingly pointing them toward biblical standards. After all, the world's standards change daily. I want my girls to know where to find the biblical standards that are for their good, from their loving and merciful and brilliant God - the God Who both created them and continues to know what's best for them. I've become acutely aware lately that if we stay quiet and just hope they "get it", they won't. Even in my old age I struggle with being popular as I have often thought, "If I go too far with this Jesus thing they will think I'm radical, crazy, a little kooky! They will turn me off. And surely they will feel so sorry for Justin and Caleb who have to live with me!" Guess what? My girls know I'm kooky, "passionate", and old fashioned because I never cease to make a fool of myself. They love me anyway, even if they may roll their eyes! That's the thing about teenagers, they are even tolerant of old ladies usually, if they see it's genuine!
In the next few weeks I want to introduce you to my girls! I hope they will even contribute to this blog so that both they and you will see what God wants to do in the lives of young women. Oh the possibilities are endless! I'm so grateful for their influence in my life...maybe I'll eventually grow up too! I praise Him for the fact that they are not like me at their age. They are the real things! These girls will go to seminary and theology school, serve in foreign lands, risk their lives for the gospel, teach their families, and lead the church....I'm convinced of it. I didn't do anything to cause this, God was already at work in them and He so graciously let me be in close proximity to them. I'm learning to be more like them. It actually turns out that what I thought was my ministry to girls has ended up being their ministry to me too! Invest in a girl and your life will be changed!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Ruined for anything else for now!
It's been a busy year that recently climaxed in miraculous ways. As most of my friends know, I have had the privilege of working with LifeWay Women Events for the past year on a couple of events. Last year I was part of a team of women in KC that hosted Living Proof Live with Beth Moore downtown. We hosted 9000 women in Municipal Auditorium for worship with Travis Cottrell and teaching by my hometown gal, Beth herself! I couldn't possibly explain how I became a part of these events. God simply orchestrated it miraculously and curiously. The team of gals I've worked with have become dear dear friends!
Because we all had such a glorious time working on the LPL event, when LifeWay asked us to host Priscilla Shirer in 2013 we jumped on it! I traveled to Nashville back in August 2012 with our city coordinator, Mary Tostenson, to begin planning for Priscilla. This would be a smaller event at FBC Raytown with only 1400 women. We planned for months, invited women, introduced them to Priscilla (Dr. Tony Evan's daughter), promoted her studies, and prayed constantly that He would blow us away with a mountain top experience. The event concluded on March 2nd and I can honestly say it was a journey I'll never forget. People say that all the time, but I mean it! I'm ruined after this one! My sweet friend Patricia from LifeWay told me once that I'd be changed more than anyone when I signed on to take this responsibility, and was right of course! I've never been so disgusted with myself and amazed by my God than during this journey! I'm so grateful that He thought it was time to deal with some stuff in me that had rooted itself so deeply I hadn't even realized it!
For both of these events, I was asked to serve as the prayer coordinator. For an event like this, LifeWay literally asks you to write a prayer strategy. Seriously, a STRATEGY...written down...and submitted to people who might actually keep you accountable for what you wrote! YIKES! I felt like my name was on the line, and honestly I wanted LifeWay and Priscilla to be blessed by our work. I felt so responsible so I prayed like never before.
I've spent the past year praying for so much in addition to my own family and desires! I've prayed for minute details and HUGE life changing results. I've prayed for protection from Satan and I've fasted! I've prayed thousands of scriptures! I've prayed alone, with one or two others, and with hundreds. I've begged and pleaded for women and men to pray with me and I've been awake in the middle of the night praying more than I could've imagined. Why did I take this so seriously? I honestly can't explain it without admitting that I'm competitive and selfish and prideful and all sorts of other ugliness. But I'm also utterly aware of His sovereignty and ability and goodness. I'm pretty sure I went into this whole thing believing that if I just asked often enough or desperately enough He'd answer. I mean I knew He was going to do what He was going to do with or without me, but I think I thought I could beg enough to make it all "work out". What I now have come to understand is that He so graciously and sweetly invited me to be involved in what He was already doing. He was giving me the holy opportunity to see His supernatural activity. I've often prayed something like this over the last year: "Lord, I know You call us to walk by faith, but I'm asking You to peel back the curtain and let us see just a glimpse of what You're up to. I promise I'll walk by faith tomorrow after this event, but today I'm asking You to let me just see a glimpse of what You're doing...see some fruit today." Boy has He done just that!
I've seen young women and teenage girls surrender to Christ for the first time. I've seen young mothers excitedly accept their callings to lead their children first and any circle of influence they may have next toward the one Merciful God! I've seen depression replaced with hope. I've seen women of all races and ages worship in a variety of ways that surely is what heaven will look like! I've seen homeless women find stability in Christ alone. I've seen men praying for the women of this community humbly. I've seen miracles...sheer miracles! I've seen shipments arrive at the last minute as we were asking God to send them. I've seen people come out of the woodwork to attend an event when we thought no one was coming. I've seen money for ministry appear out of nowhere. I've literally seen and heard the Holy Spirit sweep through a room until His presence was palpable. I've seen Him change my heart of stone toward women's ministry to one of willingness to serve women in His name yet again. I'm even excited about it. Now that's a miracle! All this because I was invested in prayer and watching for Him to work. All this because He is so sweet.
So now my question is: WHY DON'T I PRAY ABOUT THE EVERYDAY THINGS and EVERYTHING LIKE THIS?
I'm ruined for anything less! I won't ever stand before 1000's and teach. I won't ever have my own book or write my own Bible study. I won't ever travel the world to teach or lead worship. But I will pray like my life and the lives of the women and men I serve depend on it. Don't misunderstand me. I know nothing depends on me, but I am ruined for less than living in such a state of dependance on Him alone from now on! I believe this is why God graciously allowed me to take part in this past year full of women's ministry. I want to hear Him, see Him, and sense Him so I'm going to ask Him! I'd welcome anyone else who's with me.
Thank You Father for focusing me on You again in this season!
Because we all had such a glorious time working on the LPL event, when LifeWay asked us to host Priscilla Shirer in 2013 we jumped on it! I traveled to Nashville back in August 2012 with our city coordinator, Mary Tostenson, to begin planning for Priscilla. This would be a smaller event at FBC Raytown with only 1400 women. We planned for months, invited women, introduced them to Priscilla (Dr. Tony Evan's daughter), promoted her studies, and prayed constantly that He would blow us away with a mountain top experience. The event concluded on March 2nd and I can honestly say it was a journey I'll never forget. People say that all the time, but I mean it! I'm ruined after this one! My sweet friend Patricia from LifeWay told me once that I'd be changed more than anyone when I signed on to take this responsibility, and was right of course! I've never been so disgusted with myself and amazed by my God than during this journey! I'm so grateful that He thought it was time to deal with some stuff in me that had rooted itself so deeply I hadn't even realized it!
For both of these events, I was asked to serve as the prayer coordinator. For an event like this, LifeWay literally asks you to write a prayer strategy. Seriously, a STRATEGY...written down...and submitted to people who might actually keep you accountable for what you wrote! YIKES! I felt like my name was on the line, and honestly I wanted LifeWay and Priscilla to be blessed by our work. I felt so responsible so I prayed like never before.
I've spent the past year praying for so much in addition to my own family and desires! I've prayed for minute details and HUGE life changing results. I've prayed for protection from Satan and I've fasted! I've prayed thousands of scriptures! I've prayed alone, with one or two others, and with hundreds. I've begged and pleaded for women and men to pray with me and I've been awake in the middle of the night praying more than I could've imagined. Why did I take this so seriously? I honestly can't explain it without admitting that I'm competitive and selfish and prideful and all sorts of other ugliness. But I'm also utterly aware of His sovereignty and ability and goodness. I'm pretty sure I went into this whole thing believing that if I just asked often enough or desperately enough He'd answer. I mean I knew He was going to do what He was going to do with or without me, but I think I thought I could beg enough to make it all "work out". What I now have come to understand is that He so graciously and sweetly invited me to be involved in what He was already doing. He was giving me the holy opportunity to see His supernatural activity. I've often prayed something like this over the last year: "Lord, I know You call us to walk by faith, but I'm asking You to peel back the curtain and let us see just a glimpse of what You're up to. I promise I'll walk by faith tomorrow after this event, but today I'm asking You to let me just see a glimpse of what You're doing...see some fruit today." Boy has He done just that!
I've seen young women and teenage girls surrender to Christ for the first time. I've seen young mothers excitedly accept their callings to lead their children first and any circle of influence they may have next toward the one Merciful God! I've seen depression replaced with hope. I've seen women of all races and ages worship in a variety of ways that surely is what heaven will look like! I've seen homeless women find stability in Christ alone. I've seen men praying for the women of this community humbly. I've seen miracles...sheer miracles! I've seen shipments arrive at the last minute as we were asking God to send them. I've seen people come out of the woodwork to attend an event when we thought no one was coming. I've seen money for ministry appear out of nowhere. I've literally seen and heard the Holy Spirit sweep through a room until His presence was palpable. I've seen Him change my heart of stone toward women's ministry to one of willingness to serve women in His name yet again. I'm even excited about it. Now that's a miracle! All this because I was invested in prayer and watching for Him to work. All this because He is so sweet.
So now my question is: WHY DON'T I PRAY ABOUT THE EVERYDAY THINGS and EVERYTHING LIKE THIS?
I'm ruined for anything less! I won't ever stand before 1000's and teach. I won't ever have my own book or write my own Bible study. I won't ever travel the world to teach or lead worship. But I will pray like my life and the lives of the women and men I serve depend on it. Don't misunderstand me. I know nothing depends on me, but I am ruined for less than living in such a state of dependance on Him alone from now on! I believe this is why God graciously allowed me to take part in this past year full of women's ministry. I want to hear Him, see Him, and sense Him so I'm going to ask Him! I'd welcome anyone else who's with me.
Thank You Father for focusing me on You again in this season!
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